That's exactly it, and why I prefer it be called an executive function disorder rather than any kind of focus disorder.
I can focus just fine. Too well, actually, to the detriment of all else, including physical needs like eating and sleeping. But I can't control it. I don't get to choose when I'm productive or when I'm not, let alone what I actually focus or work on. I could go weeks at a time where absolutely nothing is interesting enough, everything is painfully boring, and I'm so task paralyzed I just can't do anything. Likewise, I might give into a project for 48 hours straight non stop.
It's amazing I have a job at all, to be honest. I am also autistic, and it is a special kind of hell at times.
I find monotropism an apt way of understanding it. A normal person's attention is like a flashlight they control that illuminates much of a room at once. Autistic brains are a tight beam flashlight, almost a laser for some, with its aim difficult to change. ADHD brains are more like a tight beam flashlight on a motorized mount that swivels in all directions, but you're not always in control of where it swivels to...it's like an AI constantly overrides your direction inputs and points the light at what it deems most exciting or urgent at the moment.
If we're going with that metaphor, I'd phrase it more in terms of that mount being prone to jamming. My attention doesn't go to completely random places, it only goes to places I want it to, but then gets stuck on things that wouldn't hold the attention of a neurotypical person.
> but then gets stuck on things that wouldn't hold the attention of a neurotypical person.
Indeed, attention is frequently held for many hours or even days on the current subject of hyperfocus. I too have great difficulty deliberately directing my attention toward a subject I don't find exciting, but find it easy to get locked in on my natural interests. Hyperfocusing on one of my passions is delightful, even if it detracts from other important things.
> it only goes to places I want it to
That's true for me in a sense, but I've had so much trouble from hyperfocus states that I don't think about it quite that positively. I hyperfocus on a new hobby every week and buy tons of stuff for it that I abandon for the next week's hyperfocus. I get locked into politics and flame wars that make me stressed and sad the whole time, but waste hours on them. I would like to get locked into one of my passions that I always enjoy and that also enrich me in some way, but I end up spending hours hyperfocused on researching some esoteric topic of the day instead. Or worst case I hyperfocus on potential sources of doom and how to prevent them, but maybe that's not due to ADHD alone. All of those are things I "want" to focus on in some sense, but in many senses I very much don't want to.
That's why lack of control of the focus' subject seems one of the most important aspects to me. In my metaphor I guess I'd say something like the focus of the AI that's overriding my direction inputs is what's getting stuck on a subject.
I don't think about that in a positive light, it's just factual information that helps me understand the shape of the problem. It's about recognizing that the places my focus goes to aren't random and arbitrary — I've never gotten stuck on, say, the intricacies of tap dancing, because I have little to no interest in tap dancing, and no reason to care. I did get stuck on knitting for a short while because I bought some pattern books as a gift for my mother, and had a peek inside — I _wanted_ to have a peek inside, what I didn't want was to lose a few hours to it.
In many parts of the world during tribal times, feeling like you didn’t have control and feeling like the world is unpredictable is probably going to lead to death. Hyperfocus on getting things under control (in specific areas) would be useful, for example hyperfocus on shelter before winter if you feel like that is not under control, or hyperfocus on the food supply if that is not under control.
In the modern world it’s plausible to me that the conditions are just so out of control of the individual that the mode never turns off, and you get random seeming intense focus and irritability around lack of control and lack of focus on social fluidity (which in the tribal environment was basically N/A since everyone was basically the same as each other and you didn’t need these flexible protocols for socialization) etc etc.
I’m not diagnosed with autism but I feel like I have a lot of the classic traits and when I pay attention to my environment a lot of things bother me and I feel better when I fix them. But so many things bother me that it’s basically impossible to fix them all and then I disassociate from them. The things that bother me are like “this design is bad, fix it” but I can’t change all the objects around me like one could in a tribal setting where everything was made in house. Same with routine that is impossibly complex compared to tribal life.
It is also worth noting that I have encountered an effective therapy for ADHD, which also works miracles for many with autism. It is available at https://thecraigschool.org/. Unfortunately their therapy only works in prepubescent children. That's because it requires the child to make a strong 2 year emotional commitment, but nobody is ready emotionally to predict how they will change after puberty hits.
Still the fundamental principle of the therapy is generally applicable and interesting. It is to condition to child to the idea that, "Every should must come reinforced by a want." This emotional reinforcement results in getting the most possible out of their executive control. With the result that the child becomes able to task switch away from, then back to, hyperfocus.
It is worth anecdotally noting that I've known a couple of people without ADHD who conditioned themselves to the same idea. They reported that they have both the ability to engage with hyperfocus, and to task switch in and out of that state. If we as a society focused on instilling "shoulds" with mostly positive reinforcement, this would be more common. So what brings people with ADHD and autism up to normal executive control, could bring normal people up to superior executive control.
If I was starting over as a parent (not that I want to, I'm done with that part of life!), I would definitely use this idea to inform my parenting.
> "Every should must come reinforced by a want."
> Unfortunately their therapy only works in prepubescent children. (...) but nobody is ready emotionally to predict how they will change after puberty hits.
Here is my understanding of the issue with the therapy based on my experience with it.
They have created a therapeutic environment with so many rules and demands that the child encounters a constant stream of shoulds. They also implement a carefully thought out set of rewards that gives constant positive feedback for those who are succeeding.
But that positive feedback loop only gets started after the child is succeeding. And therefore it is essential that children enter the program with an overwhelming desire to succeed, and in a state where every one of those shoulds will connect to that overwhelming desire. They have a carefully optimized intake process that creates this initial state. That results in a child who is absolutely emotionally committed to a two year very difficult program.
The problem that I see with people who are older is that once we enter puberty, we become more resistant to receiving constant demands from adults. This undermines that initial commitment. It also undermines the positive feedback loop that is essential to maintaining the commitment into the second year.
Even if I am wrong about why it happens, the program told me that they have an age cutoff because the therapy program doesn't work after kids hit puberty. It isn't just an abstract theory. They tried it, and concluded that it doesn't work.
> The problem that I see with people who are older is that once we enter puberty, we become more resistant to receiving constant demands from adults.
The key to it is this. These kids absolutely HATE the experience of lacking executive control, in a classroom. Teachers have no idea how often they launch verbal attacks, but it is sheer misery for the kids.
Then they encounter this program. The program sits them down. Explains how it works. Lets them poke around. Talk to the kids in the program. Verify that it really works. And lets them know every rule, and every reward.
Then the program tells them, "You can't come unless you have completely internalized it. Every time you fail, you must remember how badly you wanted to succeed. We can't give you a second chance. If you have any doubt, prepare yourself longer."
Separately we parents are told, "This has to be your child's choice. You cannot try to convince them in any way. If you try, we will know and your child will fail. If your child asks questions, answer them honestly. If your child says that they are ready, ask them if they are SURE. If they say yes, then they can come. Not until."
And now the kids are caught. They absolutely know the tiger that they want to escape. It is their daily life. They absolutely know that there is an escape. They know how it works. They know that it works. And they know that it won't work if they have any doubt. Every last rule. Every time they hear it. They must WANT it. For 2 years.
It took my son about a month and half to declare himself ready. The first few months were misery for him. But I'd never seen anyone so determined to succeed. And succeed he did.
I haven't heard that before...I need time to ponder and process that, but on the surface it sounds like gold!
The parents and town I grew up with were extremely religious and authoritarian. I grew up hearing how our personal desires should be ignored and suppressed, and only the will of God and authority figures matters. I think neurotypical people may be more able to function with such a mindset, but it's a losing battle for ADHD brains to try to force themselves too far from their natural wants/interests. Especially since lack of emotional regulation is a significant(but less discussed) difference for ADHD, focusing first on emotions and reorienting wants before focusing on getting the task at hand done might make a lot of sense for us.
The diagnosis, for me, became obvious when I reframed it from "lack of focus" to "poor control over what I focus on".