And you can despise the Romans for the way they went about things, but it's not like the other societies they went to war with were any better, and in a lot of cases were worse (EG Carthaginian baby sacrifice).
Context is really important. As you correctly note, many of the people the Romans were conquering could be even more ruthless as well (by 2025 standards). My point was more that historians wear a lot of different hats, depending on what they're doing. When you're wearing your 'investigator hat' learning how and why things worked, your thoughts might be different than when you're wearing your 'builder hat' and thinking about the society you might want to live in today (and tomorrow). It isn't a contradiction to weigh the tradeoffs that various people in history have made when designing their culture (and politics, and military capabilities).
History is messy - we can and should learn from those that came before, both the good and bad. One can both admire the things the Romans accomplished while simultaneously despising the way they went about accomplishing them. It isn't a contradiction.