bobchadwick parent
My family undertook a major renovation where we basically took down everything above the foundation and started from scratch. I went down many of the exact same rabbit holes as the OP and the results ended up being very similar. My takeaway was that the majority of the people working in the home building trades are very closed-minded and are terrified of doing anything that veers too far from the way homes have been build in the US since the middle of the 19th century.
It doesn’t help that when something goes wrong on a new home the default seems to be to find a lawyer and try and go after the builder.