"If the tool is used wrong most of the time, it's at least partially to blame."

Only if there were other tools that didn't fall victim to the same business incentives, but they all do.

I've had PMs that find a balance with the business incentives and make it work. If you’re human and make the wrong choices, then most people, including me, will likely call you bad in that context. If they can't stand up to find balance with the business incentives, then they're a bad PM. That doesn't make them a bad person.

I have seen Scaled Agile Framework (SAFe) work in multiple real program teams. Doing it successfully requires total commitment at multiple levels and many organizations are culturally incapable of making the transitions.

To be clear I am not claiming that SAFe is necessarily the best possible methodology. There is certainly room for improvement. But empirically it can work in real life.

"I mean if something doesn't ever work in real life then its not good."

Are you talking about Agile, Waterfall, or project management in general?

I've seen Agile work just fine. I've also seen it fail miserably. I've seen both of these at the same company with the main difference being how aggressive/delusional the leadership is. The easy test is if your leadership is legitimately ok with your team going home early if you complete your sprint commitment early, and it actually happens on occasion.