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I would argue that perhaps you have confused happiness with joy, or I have confused happiness with a lack of sadness, or perhaps with satisfaction.

While I find that joy is a fickle and fleeting thing, I feel that I am happy most of the time, satisfied that things are as they must be, or at least close enough that the state of affairs does not poorly reflect on my efforts.

Sadness or grief make their appearance, but need not make life a poverty of happiness.

I think probably many people think that happiness and joy are the same thing, thus robbing themselves of happiness in an eternal pursuit of joy. If joy were constant, it wouldn’t be the joyful treasure that it is.


I tend to think of (a default state of) happiness as being akin to equanimity. Not indifference, but acceptance of life as it is right now because that tends to diffuse your suffering. Contentment would be another appropriate word for this I think.
I wish I had more joy in life especially when I meet people who just seem to exude it so well in their interactions. It seems like they are almost always joyful.
You didn't explain how you define joy and happiness, can you elaborate how they are different
In my understanding, Joy is the emotion of overt happiness. It elicits silly behavior, celebratory vocalisation, laughter, and hugging.

Happiness is the state of satisfied being devoid of feelings of remorse, emotional pain, grief, or anger. It is a state that accepts joy, that provokes appreciation, gratitude, and satisfaction. It is a generally open and creative state, that gravitates toward the positive.

It is possible to maintain a state of happiness amid unfavourable events and conditions if your mind and actions are guided by a moral framework, and even to maintain a sense of happiness through hardships and injustice if you have built the philosophical structure to separate your mind and sense of self from your circumstances.

Happiness is being content. You can be a generally happy person.

Joy is more exuberant - but more fleeting. You can't be a person constantly experiencing joy (except maybe as a bipolar during their manic phase)

I think in short:

- big things (e.g. someone dies) you cant avoid being sad

- small everyday things (e.g. someone cuts you off at the intersection) you have a choice to smile and treat it lightly or go all passive aggressive and spiteful.

Sometimes you have to find some middle ground wherever you can get it.

Like why curse a slow driver when you can have a 100% positive attitude?

"You can do it! You can do it! There is a gas pedal. You're almost there, don't give up!"

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