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Muscles don’t burn that much calories, only like 13 kcal/kg/day. So if I suddenly gained 10 kg of muscle, I could theoretically burn half a donut per day. Plus the extra calories spent moving those 10 kg of muscle around. But it’s not a free meal.

Agree 100%. The data on this is pretty depressing. There isn't much you can do but eat less. Even huge bodybuilders quickly get fat when they go off season. All that muscle evidently doesn't work enough to offset the appetite.

Gaining 20lbs of muscle, which would be quite a visual change, would only burn about an extra candy bar.

When I was mountain biking heavily I could eat whatever. You just need a Huuuuuge amount of cardio, haha.
Men with a lot of muscles in fact can and have to eat more to maintain their weight then men with less muscles.

That extra food in fact does include cakes and treats.

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