Preferences

> People simply don’t like each other

this seems like an insane statement to me, you can just hire for ability to function in a team?


mulmen
One of the most contentious disagreements between myself and my current manager is that I say we should trust our peers to do good work and enable them with that fundamental assumption in mind.

IMHO if you assume the people around you are incompetent or malicious then that’s exactly what you’ll find.

Further, if the people around you are actually incompetent or malicious then awareness of that fact won’t change the outcome anyway.

IMHO if you assume the people around you are incompetent or malicious then that’s exactly what you’ll find.

What are you implying, that you are some kind of God? So if you see them as bad, often bad appears, and if you see them as good, then often good appears? That's some magical stuff there.

Further, if the people around you are actually incompetent or malicious then awareness of that fact won’t change the outcome anyway.

True. But we're here talking about managing serious operations, in which case being keenly aware of the above fact helps make decisions and they don't all have to be "evil" decisions and can often be quite beautiful solutions. You can reallocate people to optimize them without firing them, feeding one more person.

mulmen
> So if you see them as bad, often bad appears, and if you see them as good, then often good appears? That's some magical stuff there.

Pretty much, yeah. Another way of saying this is “perception is reality.”

Everyone has their own perception of reality. As a result some people like you and others don’t. You can choose to perceive those around you as favorably as possible. You control your perception of reality.

It’s similar to this HN guideline:

> Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith.

I think this is the defining characteristic of HN that makes it a valuable place to be. It’s a deliberate choice I wish was more widespread.

> True. But we're here talking about managing serious operations, in which case being keenly aware of the above fact helps make decisions and they don't all have to be "evil" decisions and can often be quite beautiful solutions. You can reallocate people to optimize them without firing them, feeding one more person.

Totally. And you should assume the best about those you manage so you can move them into a position where they can succeed rather than dismissing them for their flaws.

You think people not liking each other is an insane statement? I'll paraphrase Thomas L Friedman on a recent thing he said about the middle east. He said, paraphrasing "never listen to what an Israeli or Palestinian tells you in English, always see what they say to each other in their own language". Obvious insight, but not well practiced.

Do you think the amicable discourse on HN is indicative of feelings? Do you think the Hi and Hellos you get at work displays the true fabric of things?

I'll just start with small examples in case you want to keep the convo going:

1) Leetcode is a thing

How? Dude, there's dislike of a certain type of developer and obsession toward the idea of another type of developer.

2) Agile is a thing

How? Dude, there is dislike for the autonomy and value a developer brings.

3) How do you turn a "normal" engineer into 10x engineer

How is this question constructed? What is "normal" and who defined the ideal "10x"? How do you turn your "normal" wife into a dime? What? What kind of question is this? The business dislikes the price of a developer, how do we get more value for what we paid. These are the things you have to read into.

...

N) Plenty more examples, the tech industry operates on shade because our PR game is so fake (seriously, remember the ping pong tables?)

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Which brings me back to "people don't really like each other" and good operations need to manage that.

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