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I'm 48 and one thing I universally notice, among my friends, is that they don't understand that GAME OVER is near and they should hurry up and do what the want to do. Instead they still feel like they are young, taking me sometimes for crazy for saying: now we are old, there are, if we are lucky, 20, 30 good years ahead of us. So let's use them at our best.

Often the wants dissipate over time. One craves sleeping in, having a coffee and not arguing with your spouse. Sure if you push people they might confess about abandoned dreams, but my experience is that most people over 45 are quite content. Maybe it’s a Swedish thing.
Can relate to both. There aren’t a lot of winters left where I’ll be able to ski. The future no longer feels infinite. I do not have all of the time in the world to do the things I enjoy. But, and my younger self would be very upset with me, I am very happily done with the hussle.

> But these days, there’s nothing lovelier than a Saturday morning with a bit of jazz or classical playing, pottering about the kitchen, and then being tucked up in bed before 10pm. Wild.

Play with the dogs. Smoke some weed, a nice meal and play cards with the wife. Don’t need much more.

It’s definitely a Swedish thing. I have some friends there and have visited your country, and the quality of life is incredible and people seem very happy, even if they don’t outwardly show it (people also seemed very private).

I lived in a nearby country for a couple of years and very quickly, the culture of Northern Europe pulled me in. People still want to improve themselves and their communities, they work hard at things they value, but don’t seem to be too bothered by small details or things outside of their control. It’s a very healthy culture - something I can’t say about the current state of my country (USA).

I think I’d choose that over the more American version of panicking when you’re 48 due to not hitting some culturally driven metric of success. An example of desire causing needless suffering.
I definitely have fewer wants, though they tend to be more expensive (guitars). I notice that a lot of things I used to really enjoy kind of fall flat for me now, notably metal concerts and video games. Still like both of them a lot, but they don't do as much for me.

The things I want tend to be hard to buy in the first place: autonomy/independence of time, more time with my parents, better skills as a musician, a more kind and patient heart. I think at some point I developed a taste for the long game, the type where there is no limit on improvement.

> and not arguing with your spouse

I dunno, man. "Gray divorce" is rising, and I don't think Sweden is an exception to that.

Maybe that's because these people don't want to argue with their spouse, and these couples are unable to achieve that.
I would argue that the sentiment

>> GAME OVER is near and they should hurry up

still lacks the maturity that comes with age. Or take it as a compliment - you are not there yet. Taking this too seriously also diminishes the quality of our brief existence

I don't think it hurts to remind oneself sometimes that "today, I'm the youngest I'll ever be for the rest of my life..."
> there are, if we are lucky, 20, 30 good years ahead of us

Not sure about that. You should expect serious health issues to start between 65 and 75. That doesn't mean your good years are behind you. You're in "running out the clock mode" when your mind goes and you physically can't do things like walking without assistance. That's late 90s for the lucky ones.

"If we are lucky." For some, it's even earlier.

In my high school text chat of 5 people now in their mid 50s, 1 is a leukemia survivor, 1 has various chronic health conditions associated with PTSD, and 1 is about to have a quadruple bypass.

3 spouses also have serious health challenges, including cancer and organ transplant.

6 out of 10 with major health issues. Mid freaking 50s.

Wondering when my number is going to come up.

My small town newspaper has about 3-4 obituaries a week. Most of them used to be my grandparents' generation. Now most of them are my parents' age, but an uncomfortable number are my age.

The first girl I ever danced with (8th grade, "Beth" by Kiss) died a few years ago of some medical condition. A neighbor who was a few years behind me in school died last year. Had a headache, told his family he was going to lie down, had a stroke there on the couch. Yeah, you start thinking about it.

> My small town newspaper has about 3-4 obituaries a week. Most of them used to be my grandparents' generation. Now most of them are my parents' age, but an uncomfortable number are my age.

Isn't a lot of this due to drug overdoses? It's not like people in their 40s are more often starting to drop dead from strokes and heart attacks.

Out of my 8 people that were in my college crew and we graduated 1995-1996: one is in great shape and is a fitness instructor, I’m in above average shape, 3 never work out, two have passed and one has disappeared. He was morbidly obese in college (not a judgement or insult, just a fact). The rest of see each other once or twice a year, we went to college in our home town so we all have family there
This is all true, but heart surgery is one example where you have a serious health issue, yet (probably) many good years ahead of you. It'll limit your ability to do physical things like climbing mountains. It won't stop you from having an enjoyable life or accomplishing meaningful things.
Making use of one's years is a good mentality, but the idea that "GAME OVER is near" in your 40s is a bit overdramatic, barring being hit by the proverbial bus, getting terminal cancer, having a heart attack, or something along those lines. 30 years is a long time . . . at worst, you have half your adult life still left to live, if not more than half.
Well, 48 is 50ish more than 40s, but I understand what you mean: I believe that if I would not enter such mentality ASAP I wouldn't do many things I'm doing in recent years. To trigger it too late, is too late: a constant I see in creative challenges is that you need to have physical strength to write code, write a book, do traveling with family, ...
It does not help that many have kids later in their lifes nowodays and they are highschoolers when they hit that 50. (+ having first one late means having the second one even later)

(btw I did try to tell friends similarly that half way is at around 35-40, don't look at 50 as start of the B side)

I'm about to turn 40 and only this year it hit me that maybe my wildest dreams of success won't come true, and that I don't have eternity to try it. This gave me a terrible sense of emergency, and I'm working like crazy and also much more focused.

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