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A huge part of that has to be that in modern day society we're constantly bombarded with those one-in-a-million stories that are presented as if they're the norm. And don't get me started on things like sports stars with insanely rare genetic gifts who then write books that say "And I knew it would just take hard work to make my dreams would come true" - sure, you worked hard, but so did a bajillion other folks who didn't win the genetic lottery that you've never heard of. And in many places, like the US, it's also widely preached and believed that the US is a meritocracy, and that anyone can achieve greatness if they work hard enough. I don't really want to get into the "meritocracy" debate but I hope everyone can at least acknowledge that luck is a huge component of any exceptional success.

Before global media, for the most part if you were comparing yourself to other people it was largely comparing against your friends, family and community. Sure, there may have been that one outsized success, but it still wasn't presented as the norm - you knew all the other friends and family that just had average lives. And for most of human history where social ranking was explicitly classed based, it's not like if you were a peasant you would think "Darn, if I only worked harder I could be a noble".

If you want to feel "less hard on yourself", I highly recommend disconnecting from digital media. It's hard for our human brains to deal with the constant onslaught of stars/celebrities/moguls/exceptions and understand how rare those examples truly are.


Think about all the hours you've spent doing what we all do on this site which is, ultimately, nothing.

Imagine if you had directed those hours towards learning or training some sort of skill. You would, almost certainly, be in the top percents of humanity by now at that skill.

It's not just about innate inability but about dedicating yourself to something of value. The reality is that the overwhelming majority of people choose not to do that.

But the point I would emphasize is that this is a choice.

It's actually quite the issue as well, because it's so enticing to choose to do nothing. Would Einstein in an era of endless entertainment, banter, porn, and so on have nonetheless chosen to spend his days wandering about pondering the mysteries and paradoxes with the speed of light?

I mean maybe...? But there's a strong argument to be made that we haven't done away with meritocracy but rather made it fabulously enjoyable to do things of no real merit.

While i agree somewhat and i have the exact same sensation about many things in my life (which has led me to adopt a relentless learning attitude for many things), I'll say that some random online conversations are worth it. These talks help me stay up to date on current events, they help me understand the way others around me are thinking about the world, and occasionally they give me deep insights that i may have neve come upon myself. A movie might finally click for you why someone is upset, helping you improve your personal relationships. I'm in a physics PhD right now and there are people who obviously have done nothing but study their entire lives. But they cannot participate in political discussions or really even small talk. And they seem to be having outsized difficulties with things i consider essential like, talking with women in a way that you might one day start a family and have kids, engender trust and friendship in a wide selection so that job networks and political clout might allow you to materially improve circumstances for yourself and those you love.

There is something to be said about solitary (socially and intellectually) activities being bad, but i would not be anywhere near the whole person i am without my online experiences.

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