* You've spent so much time critiquing nil values in Lua tables that you could have rewritten the entire language by now. Maybe in 2025?

* Your perfect tech stack exists only in your comments - a beautiful utopia where everything is type-safe, reliable, and nobody is ever on-call.

* You evaluate programming languages the way wine critics evaluate vintages: 'Ah yes, Effect-ts 2023, a sophisticated choice with notes of functional purity and a robust type system, though I detect a hint of API churn in the finish.'

ROFL :-)