I really don't feel comfortable asking for help, even though I'm in an emergency mode with my whole day focused on trying to fix this. I've been trying to get back on my feet for months and I feel terrible about having to sit with my face in front of a screen all day trying to sort out my financial situation with short breaks to spend with my family, especially my son. I canceled a trip to see my parents for Christmas, who live far away, but it's the traditional meeting place. There are other many important dates that I simply cannot attend or do anything about at the moment, even 10 years of marriage in January. Anyway, I hope everything gets better soon. I'm trying hard, despite fear and other constant bad feelings.