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Learning about my own mind and how to tame it.

I've started realizing that I don't have much control over the external world, people or events, and only my perception of it can keep me sane or fix my mental issues.

This has effectively forced me to see my relationship with my devices with more scrutiny. I've repeatedly found that digital consumption, whether it is infotainment, knowledge, or mindless Reels or Shorts, has always led me to a more depressed and sad state.

A recent trip in the mountains without any cell reception even further confirmed this hypothesis for me personally.

I try to leave my devices and social media for longer durations, but the eventual FOMO and withdrawals that kick in always bring me back to square one of agony.

Events around a romantic interest recently also made me to rethink on how to effectively control emotions and feelings. The other person can do nothing wrong, but my mind can still feel tormented by their simple actions and events that unfold.

Unless I can achieve some sort of mental and emotional equanimity, I feel all my pursuits of learning and career would still not alleviate me from this joyless state of life.


I'm pretty sure Buddhism is what you want
Or stoicism.
You should try Raja-Yoga. I suggest you start small - with Vivekananda, for example and then, if that brings you joy, read the whole plethora of interdependent teachings.
Learning about the mind and controlling it better has been a recent passion of mine as well.

Like you, I’ve noticed a direct connection between media consumption and quality of life. Namely, if I get a dopamine release with minimal to no effort, my day is pretty much shot as I have little motivation to do anything I want to do.

This has led me to delete all social media, completely. I wiped all my accounts and walked away. I also leave the TV off during the day, which is still weird for me because I’m that person who works with the TV on in the background. I thought it was harmless, but it turns out, it’s not.

Basically anything that gives me dopamine without trying is gone, which in this world is mostly screens.

The more I experiment, the more I realize how important control of one’s mind and thoughts are. I’m now at a point where I believe that the only barrier between one and their goals is their mind. Giving up, doubting, lack of motivation, perseverance, persistence, confidence - it all comes from the mind.

Control your mind, control your life. It’s a lot more difficult than it sounds though :)

Bingo re dopamine!
Perhaps you might be interested in the works of George Ivanovich Gurdjieff. When I encountered his ideas, I was impressed by his psychological insights. I had never encountered same level of insight before. It really resonated with me.

His approach is not religious in the usual sense -- there is no need to believe anything or pray to some entities. It is not in conflict with religions either. Gurdjieff is presenting the psychological and spiritual ideas that are behind many mystical traditions of religions in a way that is more digestible by the modern man, and possible to apply in modern life.

His own books are probably too dense to start from. A good starting point for me was the book series Psychological commentaries by Nicoll. Another popular one is In the search of the Miraculous by Ouspensky. You can only get the Commentaries as used, and they are really expensive, but you only need one of them to start with and PDF versions can be found online. One one book of the series will do, as they all are all composed of one pagers on recurring topics.

Drop me a note if you are interested.

Check out the book Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke to see why this might be happening. I think she also has a YouTube video with Andrew Huberman going over the same material.
That's a topic close to my heart as well. I found two books helpful:

- No Self, No Problem (Chris Niebauer) - Solve For Happy (Mow Gawdat)

> Events around a romantic interest recently also made me to rethink on how to effectively control emotions and feelings. The other person can do nothing wrong, but my mind can still feel tormented by their simple actions and events that unfold.

I struggle with this as well and in addition to the two books above I suggest you look into the works of Albert Ellis.

You might find this video interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kse87ocS0Uo

It talks about different levels of thinking without going into any religion or culture.

PS: The YouTube channel seems to be related to dating, but this particular video doesn't have any of that.

There are books that can help with this action -> thought -> emotion spiral.

I found great help by reading the (IMHO poorly titled) Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

https://a.co/d/1QeKVAn

Heres a term you might appreciate: JOMO, the joy of missing out.
Check out buddhism and meditation, pretty much all about that

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