Read the other recent HN threads about Stripe customer mistreatment disasters, using the HN search box ("Stripe", sort by date). Each one has a similar question about alternatives, and in some of them people have posted recommendations for other providers they've had good experiences with. I don't recall which ones but there were more than I expected. A couple of people recommended Mollie this time around. I've never heard of Mollie before.

Next time I need a payment provider, I'll probably do that, collate the provider names, check out the recommendations, and of course like you avoid the ones I've had bad experiences with before, which are too many :/