I think you misunderstand feminism. Promiscuity does not mean you’re necessarily a feminist. One does not imply the other.
I am just talking about what behaviours/views/values I find a turn-on/turn-off and what I personally seek in a partner.
I do however believe that some lifestyles are healthier than others, although maybe there is no one universal best lifestyle and it depends both on circumstances and life goals to some extent.
Of course feminist women that are not sex positive are exist too. Some of the people need to get out more and meet feminists in real life!
My mother was a feminist and I would not say I have views that contradict hers. There are certainly flavors of feminism which are more about empowerment of women which I would find no problem with. I am admittedly more turned off by the oversexualization of today's culture (emphasizing relationships based primarily on sex), and blame all genders for this, but I do see a lot of proclaimed feminists today pushing these kinds of lifestyles, hence my comment.
It's literally a movement that seeks to gain equality for women. That's it. Gaining dignity is a large part of the movement!
There's no feminist creed that says "go out and have lots of sex". There are married feminists. There are asexual feminists. There are a lot of lesbian feminists.
Effective altruism is about finding the most effective way to use your money/time to improve happiness for the most people. Yet everyone thinks it’s about crypto and AI singularity.
Incels are just involuntarily celibate people. But now everyone labels an incel as also someone who hates women and wants to be a mass murderer. Even though most men and women are all incels until they’re not! Most people are involuntarily celibate for some sustained period at some point in their life.
The way feminism is construed today is very much mixed up with identity politics and class division. It’s not just about pushing forward equality. I‘ve distanced myself being called a feminist due to the latest generations getting some whackass ideas and not actually unifying people but instead trying to segregate further and divide us up more.
feminism (noun): the belief that women should be allowed the same rights, power, and opportunities as men and be treated in the same way, or the set of activities intended to achieve this state
(Cambridge Dictionary)
Not to mention the fact that the word dates from 1895, so it's not exactly some 'internet label'.
I think to some extent one's perception of whether somebody has self-respect or not is subjective, because everyone holds different values. For example some people value a lot. Then if I turn down a job with a high salary because of moral reasons, they might perceive me as having less self-respect. In this case, I value intimate relationships to a higher value and think sex should have meaning beyond, "I wanted to have fun that evening" ...
I think just about every self identifying feminist would say that their attitudes towards promiscuity are in line with this statement.
The whole point is that there are a lot of people who want to have a say in how women have sex, and with who, and the feminist perspective is that it really isn’t any of their business.
If you find that people call you a conservative that’s really the main reason why, if you are happy in your own relationship then it really should matter to you how people view their own sex life. While you may view other peoples dysfunctional relationships to be a result of their sexual behavior, in my expertise the sexual behavior is almost always downstream of the dysfunction, whether the individual is promiscuous or not.
But for some forms of dance - this is the normal way to dance with anyone.
Some folks go through a similar journey with sex. They don’t put it on a pedestal anymore and see it as something that is holy. It doesn’t mean it cannot still be incredibly special to them or pleasing. It just means that they can enjoy this aspect of life without needing an extremely involved emotional connection. Similar to dancing.
A wife who doesn't have her own career is not something I would ever consider. And although I might be called dominant I am also more attracted to assertive women, than women who act or are very timid. I want somebody who can also help me in life, not just depend on me.
I am definitely not a feminist either, though. I very much want a woman who has some self respect and dignity and does not jump in bed with random men, because she thinks it is some act of self-empowerment.
Anyway the impression I get and this is going to be very controversial but basically stupid people mostly have trouble forming healthy relationships, try lots of things, fuck up a lot and then join subcultures like feminism and tradwife whatever as a reaction. Smart people are more cautious, and less adventurous, take longer to find a partner, but then mostly have functional relationships and do not feel the need to start using some internet label to guide their daily life.