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I really, really want to know what kind of person sees a pair of socks with a productivity app logo on them and thinks "I need these in my life."

It's probably someone who is really into productivity and self-improvement, makes it part of their identity, mentions it to their family... and then has 10 pairs gifted every xmas.
I worked at a startup that gave “store credits” away as, try not to laugh, morale boosters so employees could buy company swag.

It was pretty hilarious.

That seems like a less bad version of handing out specific items of company swag ("woo, a t-shirt in the wrong size"). At least you can pick something that's useful to you.
We get a certain amount of money a year to buy GitHub swag, but in fairness, I think our shirts and swag is pretty great and most employees appreciate it/use it.
Most companies have a swag budget anyway, getting to pick which items you like is an improvement.
Same - pretty common in the direct sales/MLM world!
same, I think we might have been colleagues!
I still have some citusdata socks that I wear. They also have an elephant on them.

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