The Elm contributor circle is a clique that you literally have to be a strong contact with one of the contributors to get into it. It goes against everything open source stands for.
Sorry, that's not correct. It goes against your opinion of what open source should stands for, and many projects run in a way where everyone can contribute. But, it's not the only way.
The license determines how the code comes, that's the only rule. There's no rules about how a community must run. It's for the code creator (maintainer) to determine how or even IF they want a community of contributors. There's lots of ways of doing open source!
And saying it's not "open source' if you don't do X outside the license is just a No true Scotsman.
By all means, I’m not saying those are crucial features or that they don’t have right to do whatever they want with their language. They can and they do. I just find this kind of atitude and reasoning patronizing.