Thanks for chiming in. I honestly felt gaslit by the whole ordeal, I would come home and tell my partner somewhat similar stories to your own and she would recoil in horror at the toxic work environment. And then I would somehow end up defending the situation as "not that bad" lest I reveal myself as...what...weak? Unable to handle the combination of long hours and constant criticism? Crazy what can be normalized so quickly.
One of the better examples from my situation: The CEO of the company (who was buddy-buddy with my boss, and a micromanager himself) had a habit of dialing people's personal cell phones and putting them on speaker in meetings if he wasn't satisfied with the information in the moment. "Hey John, extr here tells me that we can't look at data XYZ until you've repopulated the database? Care to explain more? ETA on that?". I spent a lot of time apologizing to people for getting them in those situations - until someone explained not to worry about it because they were all used to it. This was in a post-series-C startup with hundreds of employees.
One of the better examples from my situation: The CEO of the company (who was buddy-buddy with my boss, and a micromanager himself) had a habit of dialing people's personal cell phones and putting them on speaker in meetings if he wasn't satisfied with the information in the moment. "Hey John, extr here tells me that we can't look at data XYZ until you've repopulated the database? Care to explain more? ETA on that?". I spent a lot of time apologizing to people for getting them in those situations - until someone explained not to worry about it because they were all used to it. This was in a post-series-C startup with hundreds of employees.